I will to believe, simply not going to believe me. I came back to steal the blanket of the bike. For those who did not read the last post on Saturday, October 23 in the morning a fucking bastard stole one of the most important accessories of my newly purchased scooter, the blanket that keeps my legs from freezing. With all the arrechera of life went to a sale accessories and I said shit. Now, less than a week after returning to steal me. Could it be that I'm the one who rob Paju? Do the other bikes that have the same blanket of shit are not robables ? The worst thing is that when I said I did not buy the blanket it, bought a € 20 more expensive with a mechanism " theft ." ME CAGO EN LA PUTA MADRE! I put my lock on the fuckin 'shit and still stolen? I want blood! I see the bastard who stole it sour-cherry balls! It is no longer sufficient to do so violates a gorilla with AIDS as proposed Miracles, no. Now I want more blood ...
I can not help thinking that the world is shit, and that Venezuelans are well screwed in life. Can have a quota of thefts / robberies that every Venezuelan must suffer and no matter what corner of the world you move, the "Kalman-Creole chasing you, like death when you get touch you. Able to all we have to pay our Venezuelan share " threw me a quiet" . Definitely, well, I am the largest egg producing all Venezuelans that have ever existed in history. To me, a Venezuelan citizen born in Caracas, STEAL ME TWICE IN ONE WEEK! It can not be!
All I can say is that my arrechera, all my desire for revenge and to see the bastards who stole suffer the worst of deaths, has become something wonderful and altruistic. One idea that could revolutionize the lives of all Venezuelans. An idea that includes a spectacular way my need for revenge with my vision of a world dominated by subjecting smarter gross. I must admit that this idea belongs to my cousin Rafa, we came together after a black gorilla trying to screw me by Montmartre last year. Parisian underworld I have taken you, dear readers, to share this triumph of Venezuelan talent.
So, without further ado, I present the new model of security / burglar Tukki:
MACACO'E'BARRIO 2000
I am absolutely convinced that no anti-theft security system works. Or alarms on the cars, and electric grids, or the Holy glued to the front door. The thug always wins, as the house always wins in the Casinos. The only consistent way to fight crime, to prevent future theft / assault / robbery is by hiring your own security guard. And I'm not talking about hiring a RoboCop, no. I'm talking about buying that monkey slave to your own neighborhood and "training" to protect you. Let me explain it all better with a walk in the future.
Friday October 29, 2044:
Ardi never felt so sure that his model of Trancatelhampa Macaco'e'Barrio. That night as every night Ardi parked the bike outside his house and tied to a string Macaco'e'Barrio rubber back. "Take Macaco'e'Barrio, here are 10 rock of crack that will last all night. If not stolen the bike in the morning, I give you your syringe of heroin. " Macaco'e'Barrio stripped her toothless smile to see the 10 stones that were presented to him. "If you're mine, your quiet little princess that I'll take care of your two wheels." Ardi just went home, took out his pipe Macaco'e'Barrio and put his reggaeton at full volume. When Macaco'e'Barrio was on the third stone, a woman with head rolls came before him and began to arm him a fart: "Damn Macaco, your reggaeton not let me sleep, turn down the volume." Macaco'e'Barrio was not high enough to put him a shot at the lady, so I got stabbed in the breast and said "this Fall asleep mamahueva. " Ardi Macaco always be grateful to him has been charged with Damn Neighbor.
When Macaco'e'Barrio stone was on the 5th, a beggar approached him for money. Macaco'e'Barrio was tired, it seemed that nobody would leave their stones smoke in peace. "You mamahuevo copper? I'll take hijo'e'puta LEAD! "Macaco took the Browning had wedged between his blullines and shot him in the balls to the beggar. The beggar took two hours before bleeding to death. Ardi then find out that the beggar was the one who had won his first mint. It turned out that exactly 34 years ago this same beggar was freezing and to survive was to steal the blanket to one of the bikes standing on the street. Ardi All you had to say about it when he learned was, " have known had come down with my Gorilla AIDS patient to have it violated for the year as he lay bleeding on the balls."
When he was about to dawn and Macaco was enjoying his last stone, dreaming about heroin syringe I would play for looking after the bike came Jabibi-Wahed. Jabibi-Wahed was the Arab-crack heads of urbanization and the sworn enemy of Macaco. "JA-La-La-La-La: Give me the bike Macaco!". Macaco was well cracked for the moment and started yelling: "WHAT QUES T'PASA MA'HUEVO?! FAG 'E SHIT! I'LL PUT IN BAG Cum shit, D'GO HERE! "Jabibi-Wahed did not leave, and so Macaco pulled out his most lethal weapon: a mini-Chavez. Many of you may be wondering what a mini-Chavez. The answer is easy, when you think of Chavez, one thinks of the most corrupt government in Latin America, the President inaugurated a shitting over as railway tunnels, one thinks of the Caracas military became the most dangerous city world, think of a monkey with power ... Thus, Chavez was the Gorilla mini AIDS patient. This time Macaco'e'Barrio not think twice before releasing the animal, and thus the target were instructed to give their due to the bastard who had stolen the second blanket Ardi. In the morning the police found the body of Jabibi-Wahed with a huge gap between the navel and legs ...
Macaco'e'Barrio brings happy endings to all Creoles.
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