Meetic Madness in Miami
I'm in Miami. More than one may be wondering, "AGAIN?". Yes, again. Whenever I can get away from Paris to come to my happy place, I do. Beyond the general culture of Venezuela, who believes that Miami is just the Dolphin Mall and Bayside, the last thing I do is to step into those places. The only thing I do when I come over here is going to the beach, rent movies from blockbuster and eating cereal watching Jerry Springer, Maury followed.
This Saturday I took 18 hours since I left my home in Paris to meet my parents. Between the time change, continents, languages, cultures, you get lost in the middle of everything.
I arrived at Orly Airport awake, active, Paris. Officially Parisian call me I can do. Will be Parisian attitude. Every day is complain all, the Paris talks about his city like a sewer. Even get to complain about the same things in Caracas, but on different scales. "The subway is shit, the city is filthy, there are gaps in the street, the uncertainty is getting worse, traffic is unbearable, there are too many motorcycles, the government is incompetent, and so on. "But even if you miss him shit to the city to the utmost, that no one would even think about saying that a city or a provincial French town is better than Paris because burst into laughter.
from Paris takes good care how she dresses. I have learned a lot here, and nor did I leave my house occurs in rubber shoes between Monday and Saturday. It turns out that if you badly dressed sales in Paris, "what matters, I go to the bakery in pajamas", you will be treated as inferior beings. The presentation is very important. On the street, you can see all types of styles, but precisely look like. After all, Paris is a of the fashion capitals. Only thugs and poorly dressed tourists. As the thugs hate Parisians and tourists, if you're badly dressed we're going to treat you badly. (Although I do not wear or the year living in Paris, I admit it: I hate tourists. They are slow, stand in the way and fuck life. If I had a nickel for every time I'm in a hurry going to school and there are some idiots tourists in front of the Sorbonne wondering why they can not come and visit the university, would be a millionaire. "mamahuevo No, you can not go and take pictures while we're in class! Leave crabs and get out.")
At Orly, transparent as water Parisian who is and who is not. The thugs do not travel, so if you are badly dressed, you are a tourist, you're well dressed, you're in Paris. All is calm in Orly, never queue and the airport is large enough to not feel in a market. In contrast, Newark Airport, precisely the domestic terminal, is a grab-ass. Shock number one
. In Paris or see you face when you stamp the passport. In the U.S., you not only see your face, you take a picture, your fingerprints, etc. Fortunately, I am an expert with immigration officials. I chose a young officer and African-American. When I arrived I started flirting with him. "Here is my passport, my and my visa forms "I said with a big smile on his face. The attitude changed completely black and also the agent next door turned and said "this woman is too perfect, check it well." I grabbed it and say, "Yes officer, I have a huge problem, never choose the right men. I have to help. " Well, better not. The two officers were installed with me, one I read "Men Are assholes sweetie, you just gotta find an asshole that's right for you", while the other would say "I can be your asshole, I'm looking for a latin girlfriend." Total of the story that took me more than usual from immigration, but was because I was talking about five minutes more with the buddies. I spent
really stepped immigration and the United States. There they were, all the gringos in cholas, in shorts, T-shirts of their favorite sports teams, etc. Why the hell have to travel by cholas? These pussies mother and cholas are removed for two seconds! It is amazing how all white American men over age 30 can be divided into two groups, or are in a suit or are in shorts / jeans, white sneakers and white stockings.
If anyone ever said, "Paris is beautiful, my trip was fine except for the Parisians who treated me very bad ", let me tell you that your friend was treated poorly known to go dressed in sneakers and speaking English. If one day go to Paris and want to be treated well, then throw away the rubber shoes, get dressed decently and seek at least say "Bonjour."
Shock number 2. Flight Newark - Miami was hell. The French are very quiet, no matter where you are in the Metro, in an airplane, on the street, the noise level is always the same: a minimum. People talk quietly and to try not to speak in public places like the subway or on airplanes to avoid disturbing people. To me this general rule I like. You can read comfortable without having a chaos around them. The gringos, and Venezuelans, not so. We, them, talk hard, anywhere. The flight took me forever, the children were crying, people talking and everyone was eating those chips of shit. To make noise while chewing pussy mother.
When finally landed in Miami, I wanted to throw the floor exhausted and cranky. Yes, domestic flights in the Yunaites put me in a bad mood. Being surrounded by so much Imbeciles, contained a cage wheel, I feel like bursting into hatred, so the post.
I stand on the carousel to wait for my luggage. I was careful choosing my post, did not want anyone near me a lot. Suddenly, a white gringo mamahuevo next to me, too close. The corduroy was dressed in jeans, white sneakers, a hat and a shirt that said "Dad Jets." Moreover, this man had two slaves fantasy gold, a gold watch Walmart and rings on his fingers (several). White-trash. Out of nowhere, comes another idiot gringo buddy and asks "What does it mean on your shirt, Jets Dad?" The corduroy turns and with an arrogant face says, "Well, it means I am the father of a Jet, Jets Give. "I still did not understand what the hell was which. Mr Just said the father of a Jet, a small group of people approached him to pull you ball. Now not only my personal space was invaded by a gringo motherfucker, but also now corduroy seven others had been cornered me. Would give me a heart attack, but was so exhausted that I did not want to move. "Who is your son? What position do you play? "At that moment I realize they're talking about American Football. Bone the corduroy of the Rings was the father of a professional soccer player. "My son is like me, have a beard, is white, is high," said Mr.. WOW! What a great description, you just described to all the other gringos in America. He did the hard, not wanting to reveal type the name of his son and giving an air of mystery to the matter. People were pulling all ball and began releasing the names of the most important players. Finally, let the Yoyo Gringo: the son of the velvet was not one of the important ones. It took about six riddles for someone to say "Nicolas ...", and when the gringo said" this is my son, they all were as disappointed.
JA! Not only the father is a loser with rings on his fingers, sure the child is a hot-bench. For a moment I thought the gringo would leave the show and would stay quiet. But no, he needed more attention. He grabbed his cell phone and called Tom. "Tom, how are investments? ... Tom, do not make me go to Missouri, I like what I'm listening ... No Tom, you listen to me, I'm spending a lot of money on this project, I need you most of all, but I'm going now to Missouri ... Then call my agent ... "Who the fuck you think you're mother's cheating? For starters, just for starters, if you have so much money corduroy, agents and litter investing, what the fuck you flying in a triple airline cheap? If silver corduroy HAD, JetBlue would not be flying with us, you'd be on the flight of American Airlines, Business Class. Second, apparently the only one with talent is your son or even be a professional player has absolutely no merit of which can benefit the human race. Sweeper would be more useful to humanity to be a football player. All you can do is play your son, your son is a loser. And you're even more loser to believe that your child is a star and try to take advantage of that. Take off the top so the "Jets Dad" and put the "LOSER", because that's all you are.
And right there I came out of Paris, I saw up and down with the face of "you're pathetic," I grabbed my bags and left.