Totona Criollo
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Where To Buy Ikea Lamp Light Bulbs
a month ago I started working as a teacher of English and English at a language institute that is next to my house. I'm sure more than just a sigh of fear while reading this, on all those who have read posts like "My Name is Ardi ." Yes, indeed, in the past my professionalism was highly questionable, but it's any consolation to them this time I have a goal. 1) No profanity in class. 2) Do not use drugs at school. 3) Do not get stoned / drunk to class. 4) Give classes. I that if I follow these four cardinal rules, I can keep this job and do well.
Honestly, I prefer to teach English. English is easy to explain. If someone asks, "Why do I have to use present continuous in this case?" The answer is simple, "Because the Americans control the world. Shut up and repeated as I said. "But the English requires an enormous effort. To begin here all want to learn the Castilian , the French want the accent of the English, they want to spit while saying the S, Z and C. I refuse to speak with an accent so disgusting. Let's be honest, ugliest accents all the world's languages \u200b\u200bare in the following order, the Chinese accent, English accent and gringo accent.
The Calvo Mamahuevo:
The bald guy is a mamahuevo mamahuevo. And honestly, I think after this story, all will agree with me that suddenly the yes-down milk. On Monday it was reviewing with him the ways of ordering in a restaurant. After explaining and putting a few examples I suggested to a dialogue between the two. I write on the blackboard menu, get some meals, some desserts and some drinks. Among the drinks get "coffee." Just finish writing "milk" on the blackboard, 60 years old and starts to laugh. I turned and looked at him with a face of "Is everything okay?" He tells me yes and is still laughing. It is normal, the first thing you do when learning a language is to laugh. I give him time to laugh. I Back to the blackboard to keep writing something and the old man calmly. There was not a second of silence when suddenly start giggling again. I go to turn and look with the face of "what then?". The bald guy is fucking hold your laughs and explains, "is that in Algeria" milk "means something else." If mamahuevo in English also means something else, but obviously I'm not talking about "coffee with sperm." I give a fake smile and try to follow. How old is this mentally? For the love of Jehovah, Christ and Freud, it is assumed that a man at age 60 is allowed to laugh this sort of nonsense. I give the time and try to move on to another topic. The old man can not overcome, he believes that I did not understand. He expected me interested in the significant other and asked " and what it means milk in Algeria?" . I began to explain that in Algeria milk is like "Go to you ..."
After that time so uncomfortable, we turn to another subject. I begin to explain the verb "call". Now I, like every Venezuelan, LL pronounced as a Y. The English did not say "Yamar" they say as " ia sea." I am explaining the bald verb conjugation: " I call, you call, he calls, we call, they call you ¿¿¿????," . The son of a bitch has the balls to correct, "it says Iamo io." Mamahuevo damn motherfucker shit. If you want to talk and spit at once, go looking for milk!
The Innocent:
My other student is the ultimate. It's a dude like 24 years, super intelligent and dedicated. By leaps and bounds. The only problem with this poor Christian who wants to learn English is because January is going to Venezuela, to work. The good thing is that it goes to work at an inn in Sucre. Well. The further from Caracas, the better. But it gives me something to think about that poor dude in the middle of the Venezuelan people. And above all things, I'm afraid to teach the English that is scheduled to school. For example, according to this book, when you get to the bakery the dialogue goes like this:
Baker : Good morning, how I can handle it?
Customer : Hello, could you please give me a baguette?
Baker : gladly. (...) Here is Lord.
Customer : Thank you very kindly. Bye.
In Venezuela, that never work. If the poor dude gets a bakery in Caracas, or in Sucre, speaking well, some thugs he will fall dead by sifrinito. So, I feel obliged to at least tell you how they beat copper in the Cloaca.
Customer : Hey buddy, give me two cops hence the mine.
Maikelramón throws you shins.
Customer : will Yes, thanks.
Maikelramón : (...)
Me Something similar happened when I taught the "Past Perfect Composite " . I do not know about you, but I do not remember anything of what I saw in high school. Do not ask me anything about grammar because I have no idea. Before giving the class had to look in the dictionary what the hell was the present perfect and then memorize the "you have ...." The dialogue of the method said
Carmen: Yesterday I saw an interesting movie .
Jean Louis: Yes, and what has been tried?
Carmen : The movie was about a woman who has run away from home ...
Jean Louis: Sounds interesting. Have you been to the movies alone?
Carmen: I've gone with some friends.
Jean Louis : Have you enjoyed the plot?
Carmen: Yes, very.
Nigga please. Write only cost me about half an hour. Among the "I, ha, you" and I feel dizzy. Only God knows why the English speaking so long. After reviewing these verbs with the dude I say that no one talks like Venezuela. We're cool, we are smarter and use the simple past. I explained that in Venezuela the dialogue would be:
Candi : Pana, yesterday I wanted to go to the movies but could not.
Yanluí : And that thing?
Candi : Na'huevoná 'and' stick 'and' water. Mae new I dropped his ranch and was light in the neighborhood.
Yanluí : What mamagüeveteo.
Candi : No joke, in that there is no hope Nelda.
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